Lahore, Lahore.... A Travel Guide

IN A NUTSHELL

Who hold Zam-Zammah, that 'fire-breathing dragon', hold the Punjab, for the great green-bronze piece is always first of the conqueror's loot.

                                                                                                Rudyard Kipling, Kim

Kipling’s most famous work opens outside Lahore Museum with his boy protagonist, Kim, illicitly straddling the giant cannon, Zam-Zammah. The city was Kipling’s own childhood stomping ground, and all those who read his picaresque novel cannot fail to be charmed by his evocative descriptions of Lahore.

Today the city is a bustling metropolis and Pakistan’s undisputed cultural capital. Two millennia of history compete for space with world-class cricket stadiums, brand new mosques and the city’s eponymous film industry: Lollywood. The city’s elite hangs out at the colonial era Country Club and brand new Oasis golf resort, whilst bright young things party the night away at secret nightclubs and underground raves. 

GETTING THERE AND AROUND

Lahore’s Allama Iqbal International Airport is Pakistan’s second largest, and it is well connected to Europe and the Middle East. PIA also flies to Bangkok, Beijing and Tokyo, though these flights are a little less regular. Pakistan’s train network is a relic of the British but is still a cheap and relatively efficient way to get around the country.

Within Lahore, buses and auto-rickshaws are inexpensive, though the traffic is something to behold and you take your life in your hands by venturing out! Taxis are a little more pricey, and not always well maintained, but you’re guaranteed more personal space. Do not, however, expect a taxi driver to necessarily know his way around. Excitingly, a mass rapid transit system (MRT) is on the cards for Lahore, but it is unlikely to open before 2020.

5 PLUSES

1. Fantastic food

2. Well preserved historical buildings

3. Rich and accessible culture

4. Few other foreign tourists

5. English widely spoken 

5 MINUSES

1. Over-population

2. Chaotic traffic

3. Sporadic security concerns

4. Smog

5. Pakistan is dry

10 MUST-SEES AND MUST-DOS

1. Shalimar Gardens: Lahore is known as the City of Gardens, and the Shalimar is undoubtedly its most famous. Laid out during the reign of Mughal Emperor Shah Jahan (r. 1628-58), the garden is on a north-south axis with three terraces, pavilions and baths, 410 fountains and a complex irrigation system. The garden is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. 

2. Food Street: Foodies flock to Gawal Mandi like mosquitos around a lamp. Pedestrianised after dark, numerous small cafes spill out tables and chairs onto the street, and serve a mouth-watering array of traditional Punjabi meals and snacks. Kebabs spitting on the open grills smell divine, whilst biryanis, fried fish and haleem (thick soup with lentils, meat and grain) are also perennial favourites 

3. Anarkali: Lahore’s oldest bazaar, which sells traditional foods, embroideries and cloth, takes its name from a slave girl who was supposedly buried alive by Emperor Akbar for having an affair with his son (the future Jahangir). Her octagonal mausoleum is still here, and it is in Anarkali you will most likely catch a glimpse or hear the jingling bells of her modern counterparts, Lahore’s dancing girls.

4. Badshahi Mosque: The largest mosque in the world until 1986, the Badshahi was constructed in 1671 at the order of Emperor Aurangzeb. Each of the mosque’s four minarets is taller than the Taj Mahal, and it is capable of accommodating some 100,000 worshippers thanks to its vast sandstone courtyard. The mosque’s small museum contains relics of the Prophet Muhammed, his cousin Ali and his daughter Fatima. Exceptionally busy on Fridays. 

5. Lahore Fort: Lahore’s other UNESCO World Heritage Site. Archaeologists have found remains from the 11^th century AD  within the grounds, but the current structure dates from the late 1500s. Of particular interest are the impressive Alamgiri Gate, the Naulakha Pavilion, and original wall paintings. Tip: watch a majestic sunset over the fort from the rooftop of Cooco’s restaurant (see below). 

6. Minar-e Pakistan: This 92m high tower in Iqbal Park commemorates the Muslim League’s first request for an independent Pakistan back in 1940. Constructed from white marble, the minaret is engraved with Quranic verses, the text of the Lahore Resolution, Pakistan’s National Anthem, poetic couplets by Allama Iqbal, and excerpts from speeches by Muhammad Ali Jinnah, the founder of Pakistan.

7. Lahore Museum: This impressive red sandstone building on The Mall was the architectural centrepiece of colonial Lahore. Built in the so-called Mughal-Gothic style, Kipling’s father, John Lockwood Kipling, was its most famous curator. The collection includes Graeco-Buddhist sculptures, Hellenistic and Mughal coins, pottery and paintings as well, of course, as the infamous cannon, Zam-Zammah. Check out the virtual tour at www.lahoremuseum.org.

8. Data Darbar: One of the oldest shrines in the Indian Subcontinent, the Data Darbar houses the remains of the 11^th century Sufi saint Abul Hassan Ali Hajvery. A popular pilgrimage site for both Muslims and Hindus prior to Partition,  the shrine is particularly atmospheric during religious holidays when it is decorated with lights and food is served to hundreds of people, accompanied by  the dulcet tones of Sufi singers and their instruments. Visitors of all religions are welcome to watch or join in the dancing.

9. Samadhi of Ranjit Singh: Known as the ‘Lion of the Punjab’, Ranjit Singh was crowned in 1801 as the leader of the Sikh Empire. A fierce and capable warrior, Ranjit Singh is best known for his patronage of the Golden Temple in Amritsar but also for annexing Kashmir. When he died in 1848, he was buried beneath this ornate tomb, his ashes encased in a lotus shaped urn. The pietra dura work in the marble pavilion is especially fine.

10. Wagah Border: 26km east of Lahore is the Indo-Pakistani border. Every day since 1959, Wagah has hosted an elaborate and nationalism-fuelled retreat ceremony, where soldiers from both sides compete to see who can shout loudest and goose step highest.  Join the good-natured crowds of supporters, wave your flag, and chant until you are hoarse. Note that spectators on the Pakistani side are segregated by sex. 

5 ESSENTIAL EATS

1. Cooco’s: A Lahore institution, this rooftop restaurant overlooks both the Badshahi Mosque and Lahore Fort. Owner Iqbal Hussain’s paintings and objet d’art provide plenty of food for thought, and hearty meals are winched up the outside of the building in an earthenware pot before serving. Get there early to guarantee a table and relax as you watch the sunset.

Roshnai Gate, Fort Rd

2. Bundu Khan: Ever popular (and now with a sister-branch in London), Bundu Khan serves up gloriously rich mutton in gravy, brain masala (far tastier than it sounds) and other spicy treats. Take away is available at lunchtime.

The Mall

3. Dumpukht: Named for the favoured cuisine of the Nawabs of Avadh, this is indeed a restaurant fit for a king! Delicately flavoured dishes such as the Raan-e-Dum Pukht (a leg of lamb marinated and stuffed with onions, cheese, and mint) are a pleasant change to the usual Punjabi dishes.

Pearl Continental Hotel, The Mall

4. Food Street: Follow your nose, grab a table wherever you can, and sink your teeth into divine mutton and chicken kebabs, washed down with a refreshing lassi (yoghurt drink) or Kashmiri tea. 

Gowal Mandi, Anarkali

5. Iceberg: This American-style ice cream parlour offers the perfect retreat from the heat and chaos outside. There are 20+ flavours of ice cream and frozen yoghurt, and a bewildering array of sauces and toppings.

Allama Iqbal Rd

5 ESSENTIAL STAYS

1. Avari: Set back from The Mall, this award-winning hotel is surrounded by gorgeous and surprisingly peaceful gardens. Regularly rated as the best hotel in Pakistan, guests are warmly welcomed and have every amenity at their fingertips. Doubles from US $190 per night. The Mall. www.avari.com

2. Pearl Continental is a 500-room megalith with an impressive modern façade and atrium.  Primarily used by business travellers and wedding parties, the hotel is pricy for Lahore but appropriately luxurious. Rates from US $190 per night. The Mall. www.pchotels.com

3. Park Plaza: A new addition to the chain, the Park Plaza is an archetypal international hotel with neutral décor and pleasant, English-speaking staff. The his and hers spas are an added bonus. Doubles from US $125 per night. MM Alam Rd. www.parkplaza.com

4. Hospitality Inn Lahore: Formerly the Holiday Inn, this conveniently located property has 120 immaculate rooms, five restaurants and cafes, and friendly, attentive staff. There is also a beauty salon and health club on site. Rates from US $110 per night. 26/26 Egerton Rd. www.hospitalityinnlahore.com

5. The Residency describes itself as the first boutique hotel in Lahore. What you’ll find is an imaginatively presented modern property with a slightly colonial feel. Staff are attentive to detail and security is reassuringly tight. Gulberg V. www.rh.com.pk  

The Perfume of Love

Eating abroad can be one of the greatest pleasures of travel, and global foods (be it pasta and pizza or a chicken tikka masala) enrich our daily diets. For those of us whose linguistic skills leave a little to be desired, however, ordering something you actually want to eat in a foreign restaurant can be somewhat of a challenge, especially at the end of a long day.

 On the many occasions when an English menu is not forthcoming, you have two options: point at a dish that happens to be passing by on its way to someone else's table or, as we were once reduced to in an empty restaurant in Xinjiang, risking the "eeny meeny miny mo" approach, keeping our fingers crossed that what arrives on your plate is neither dog nor lizard.

In Khorog, Tajikistan we were quite pleasantly surprised to be handed a bilingual menu although, as it would soon be apparent, the English made even less sense than the Russian. We felt cautiously optimistic about the identity of "Thai Meet", but the "Perfume of Love" and "Surprise Vaqt" kept us guessing even once they had arrived on the table. There was nothing discernibly Thai about the meat, though meat it certainly was. With the other dishes we may as well have been playing the guessing game "Animal, Vegetable, Mineral".

Unfortunately for Tom, he was to discover the "surprise" in the early hours of the following morning and it was to stay with him for several days. When in reach of a flushing toilet, sofa and daytime tv, food poisoning is unpleasant but sort of bearable. Trying to keep a bung in both ends whilst driving through the wilderness of the poorest country in Central Asia is quite another entirely.

What Not to Eat

Travel brings with it many new culinary delights but, along the way, there will always be a few local ‘specialties’ guaranteed to make you sick, or wish you had been just to get the damn thing out of your system. Read on for the top (or, perhaps, bottom) ten things to avoid consuming whilst on the road.

Goat Brain

Curry disguises all manner of things, but if in India or Pakistan you’re presented with something grayish yellow that smells like bad offal and has the texture of scrambled eggs, it’s quite likely you’re being served up goat brain. No amount of chili will make it edible as the lumps stick in your throat, the smell lingers in your nose, and you’ll wake up from nightmares convinced you have scrapie.

Grasshoppers and Crickets

For reasons unknown, several countries seem to have a passion for deep-fried creepy crawlies, especially ones with wings. In the Philippines beware of the not-so-tasty fried cricket bar snacks after you’ve had a couple of beers, and in Mexico steer well clear of salted chapulines- they’re grasshoppers with the crunchy legs, wings and eyes intact.

Kumis

Oh, the joys of kumis. Close your eyes. Remember the contents of your student fridge, the smell of milk three months old. Would you take a sip? Kumis, a particular favorite of the Kyrgyz people in Central Asia, is a drink made from fermented (i.e. gone off) mares’ milk. Milk should not be fizzy. Nor should it be rancid in smell and taste. Leave horse milk to foals, and certainly don’t let it sit around in the sun.

Tripe

Tripe is a key component of dog food. It is made from the stomach lining of cows or sheep and, when removed from the animal, regularly contains vestiges of the creature’s last supper. There are an alarmingly large number of places where this yellow-white glandular tissue makes it onto the menu, despite the fact that it requires 2-3 hours of slow cooking to get it to a stage where it can be digested by a human. One has to ask, why bother?

Grubs

Grubs are larvae, and larvae turn into caterpillars, frogs, wasps and flies. If you’re really luck, your grub may even mature into a barnacle or beetle. The Maoris may try to convince you their hu-hu grubs taste like chicken and the Koreans think eating silk worm grubs is healthy but I only have one thing to say: sometimes it’s a good idea to engage your brain before opening your mouth.

Snake Blood

Think you might be lacking in sexual prowess? How about fixing the problem with a nice pint of snake blood? Purportedly harvested from the King Cobra, you can enjoy this in Thailand straight or as a mixer in a cocktail, and pay up to $200 US for the privilege. If you do manage to find someone to sleep with having drunk this down and told them about it, get out while you still can and run hard.

Baby Mouse Wine

If the name isn’t enough to put you off, one look at the bottle certainly ought to. In a liter of Chinese rice wine you’ll see four to five tiny mouse corpses, each drowned in the liquid, poised as if attempting to swim to the surface. The base alcohol is rough, tasting the way gasoline smells, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, the mice do nothing to improve it in any way, shape or form.

Surstromming / Raake Orret

The Swedes and the Norwegians live in developed countries and can certainly afford refrigerators. Quite why, then, they allow their herrings to rot before eating them is beyond me. Fish are placed in a barrel with small quantities of sugar and salt and then left in the garage for a number of months until the mixture has fermented. The barrel cannot be opened indoors, so pungent is the smell, and the juice from the fish instantly attracts flies. It is potentially poisonous if the wrong bacteria contaminates the food.

Squirrel Brain

What is it about the brains of animals that invites people to just tuck in? You cook the head with the rest of the body and then, using a small spoon, crack open the skull and scoop out the soft stuff. I’m not convinced that the calorie content of the meal outweighs the energy expended catching enough squirrels to make a squirrel brain supper.

Breast Milk

Feeling homesick? Missing Mama? Head to Changsha in Hunan Province, China and enjoy a meal cooked in, you’ve guessed it, human breast milk. The locals claim dishes prepared in this way are not only tasty but enable you to “experience maternal love” while you eat. Controversy was recently sparked in the UK press when a Covent Garden ice cream parlour started selling a flavour called Baby Gaga - breast milk ice cream. You needn't go far to find it. If you haven’t yet been weaned, world travel is probably not the thing for you. Stay safe, stay home, and stick to your own mother’s milk.

Stinking Bishop and the Curworthy Baby

Visiting Bath should be a chance to fulfil fantasies of being Jane Austen or, perhaps, even a Roman Centurion. It isn’t. Coach-loads of tourists recall the nightmare of school trips. If you want to see the essence of the city and escape the souvenir shops and touts, run hard from the tourist hotspots and hunt down some culinary highlights instead.

Start your tour with the most English of beverages - a cup of hot tea at the English Tea House Emporium on New Bond Street. The street-level shop is stacked floor to ceiling with cadies of teas from around the world and it feels like being inside an apothecaries. A very narrow spiral staircase takes you down to vaulted cellars where knowledgeable owners will brew you up anything from an English Breakfast to a pungent smoked tea.

Hopefully refreshed, you should now head into the myriad of pedestrianised alleyways that run perpendicular to the high street. When they were first built, these back streets would have teamed with scullery maids and footmen, barrow boys and pickpockets – a far cry from the world of Bath’s gentility. Amongst the boutiques and curiosity shops, keep your eyes peeled for the Bath Sausage Shop on Green Street, a firm-favourite with television chef Delia Smith. Don’t miss unusual recipes such as duck and mango or pork, prune and cognac. Fancy a sausage pancake? This is the place to get it. 

At first glance, Oil and Vinegar on Milsom Place could easily be mistaken for a chemistry lab. Garishly coloured liquids in glass bottles and distillation jars fill the window and you purchase each liquid by volume. The back wall is stacked high with wooden barrels of oils and homemade liquors, and on each counter ledge is something new to dip and try.

When lunchtime calls, it’s time to head to the Fine Cheese Co. on Walcott Street. Regularly proclaimed in newspapers as the best cheese shop in Britain, there is something for even the most demanding of cheese aficionados. Many of the locally produced cheeses have entertaining names, from the Chaucer-inspired ‘Wife of Bath’, to the appropriately pongy ‘Stinking Bishop’ and the slightly confusing ‘Curworthy Baby’. The next-door delicatessen café serves all the cheese you could wish for, as well as homemade breads, hand-cured meats, and organic chutneys and relishes. 

You’ll probably be staggering by this point, so wander slowly downhill towards the Pultney Bridge, one of the few shop-lined bridges still existing in the UK. The towpath under the bridge takes you past brightly painted canal boats and the Victorian pleasure gardening, from where you can cut through to the back of the Roman Baths, hidden behind a Georgian façade. The Georgians flocked here to enjoy the health benefits of Bath’s natural springs. Although you too can have a glass of the famous, mineral-rich water in the Georgian Pump Rooms, try to avoid it: it tastes mostly of sulphur.

There are two reasons to visit the Pump Rooms: the first is to get an almost birds-eye view of the Roman remains without the crowd of school kids, and the second is to tuck in to a traditional afternoon tea. Tiny triangles of sandwiches, delicate pastries and miniature scones arrive on a tiered silver platter whilst a string quartet or pianist carry on in the corner.

Last stop on your gastro tour is Sub 13 at the top of town in the Edgar Buildings. Happy hour(s) run from 5-8pm and, as you descend down steps and deep into the hillside, it feels like you’re entering a medieval tavern. The ceilings and light and low, and numerous inter-linked cellars have an intimate feel. We enjoyed English Garden cocktails, the flavour of vodka, cucumber, elderflower and mint somehow perfectly suited to this most charming of English cities.